if there's one thing I regret about life, it'd probably be not going into post-grad music studies, not because I am "wasting my talent" right now, cause seriously (no asian modesty at all), I've got no talent. I've seen numerous truly talented people, and I'm not talking about people like Oscar Peterson, Brad Mehldau, Jamie Cullum... and all those biggies out there. Cause I might as well just shoot myself if I wanna compare my music abilities to theirs. But what I mean are people around me, from highschool, from where ever, just ordinary people. I'm sure they did have to spend incalculable time in order to achieve where they are right now, but a huge portion of their achievement is cause of their innate talent. I'm serious when I say I have no talent. I can't improvise. My fingers are retarded when it comes to moving fast on the keyboard. My voice sounds like a goose. The only musical thing I might slightly be proud of is my music creation/composition/arrangement, in which God knows where it's gone to now. It's so impossible to catch back that motivation and endless creativity like back in highschool. Anyways, my point is, I don't have that crazy talent, but my love and curiosity for music is endless. And I guess it's just not just so much like passively listening to music, but more like its composition, its structure, the chords, the embellishment they make, the melody they write based on the chords, the style, how the composer/arranger originally thought of that...... I really wanna know how simply changing one single note in a chord can trigger such different feeling. Music is really...I don't know, created by some crazy creature from another realm or something. And getting to my point finally, is that, I've always wondered with this love for music, I wonder where I'd be right now on my music journey. Maybe just another music busker on the streets, even after graduating from Berklee or The New School or Mcgill Music School, or whatever, not like I had the ability to get into those anyways. Anyways, if I theoretically did graduate from a music school, I think my ultimate goal would be trying to bring jazz to places that aren't very often exposed to jazz, such as Taiwan. Jazz...it's just out there, in some other fairy land that I can't even understand.
And on that happy note, I will go sleep now...and wake up tomorrow morning, again in the world of midterms, work...studying...worrying about other stuff..... Well, I hope my enthusiasm and curiosity for wildlife will be enough. I mean, they ARE pretty fascinating, at a whole different level than music. And that ends my rant.
"Monk's Dream"
Composer: Brad Mehldau
Performer:Brad Mehldau
